What Do You Do When Nothing Seems to Make Sense?!?

meditation is key

 

Happy Hump Day, y’all!

Yes, I had to take Tuesday off from blogging … woke up late and I was tired, too!  I couldn’t get to sleep … had something heavy on my mind  Yet, I am back on “my grind” writing about what I find in the human experiences I have and witness.

So, I really didn’t want to write about this but here it goes . . . So, my daughter had come down a few months ago in an attempt to relocate to “this part of the family”.  She had my grandson, Caleb Isaac, with her at a meager 8 months of age!  What troopers they BOTH are!!  Some of my friends in yoga asked me:  “Did she take the baby on the train?”  I told them, “Yes, of course!”  She and I have had our ups and downs; yet, as a father, I sought to keep the relationship alive even though her mother and I had divorced many years ago.  I had to move to Cali, Colombia, South America just to get over her!  I struggled with personal problems but kept my passion for teaching close to my heart.  I didn’t come out of that experience unscathed … but I did come out!  I came back to the States and relocated to Florida after spending five wonderful years living and teaching in Cali … Colombia that is!  I even found a girl there to marry … and divorce … after 6 months.

While Ayanna and Caleb were here, I got to see them several times …. as I would drive to my sister’s house in Port St. Lucie, FL where they were staying … and she was trying to relocate.  As we soon found out, things got more challenging … family issues arose … and things got worse and worse.  Finally, she had had enough of discomfort and disillusionment, and, after a most unexpected “family drama” for lack of better less accusatory words, she decided that she would call her mother … my ex-wife living in CT … and asked for help to get back home.  Her mother, my ex-wife, sent her train fare on the spur of the moment.  I had done my best, as I am struggling a bit to pay off bills and find “affordable housing”, and felt very helpless in the face of “others” selfish and dishonest behaviour!  I joked with her as she had planned to leave with her mother in a few weeks anyway, that she had had a good vacation in Florida and, that I had gotten to see my only grandson – Caleb Isaac.  The “Isaac” was chosen as his middle name by Ayanna, which is also my middle name and my father’s first name.  After spending some quality hours with Caleb, I came to the conclusion that he has a beautiful spirit and a wonderful soul.  Right now … I truly have to “Let Go and Let God”!  I had some horrific retaliatory thoughts  in the midst of the family crisis … But upon praying and meditation, … and tears, I decided that “This, too, shall pass”!

So, in case you go through something like what I am attempting to describe with as much anonymity as possible, just trust in your Creator … things will go better!

Thanks for reading … Miss you guys already Ayanna and Caleb!

Love always,

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